my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
