that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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