why didn't you poke me back
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
