Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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