all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
