just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize