he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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