You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
