I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize