: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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