SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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