So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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