i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
