what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
