he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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