walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
