She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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