Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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