good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
