is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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