It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
