At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
