Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
