no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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