omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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