my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ttyl tear gas
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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