he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
