I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
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