he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
