We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
