did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
