i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
