If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
