The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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