and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
