Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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