you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
