I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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