sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
