who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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