in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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