This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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