So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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