Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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