i think my tv is drunk
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
