EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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