I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
