dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
