he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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