Moan for me like Helen Keller
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
