Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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