If that was your dad, he is hot
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She even gives head with a lisp.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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