Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
