So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
