Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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