I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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