didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
porn star boner night. come get it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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