I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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