woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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